[DISCLAIMER: Not actual good advice. Do not follow. Merely for entertainment. Also, the problems are made up.]
Anon: Nobody is cooperating for our final Spanish project. What do I do?
War Hawk Advisor: Get two large water guns and fill them up with onion juice. Every time somebody doesn't cooperate, squirt the onion juice. Hopefully they are smart to take the hint to actually cooperate.
~Bella Lin, Official Admin
Showing posts with label thursday. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thursday. Show all posts
Friday, June 6, 2014
Thursday, May 29, 2014
Ask The War Hawks Thursday
[DISCLAIMER: Not actual good advice. Do not follow. Merely for entertainment. Also, the problems are made up.]
Anon: I can't seem to keep up with all the work that's being given these days; it's all too much! What should I do?
War Hawk Advisor: This is the end of the school year. In which YOU are living. In YOUR life. So do whatever you want. Rip up the homework, hand in bread as the final product of your latest project. All they would be able to do is give you a terrible grade on your report card, and you can just rip up that too. YOLO, am I right?
~Bella Lin, Official Admin
Anon: I can't seem to keep up with all the work that's being given these days; it's all too much! What should I do?
War Hawk Advisor: This is the end of the school year. In which YOU are living. In YOUR life. So do whatever you want. Rip up the homework, hand in bread as the final product of your latest project. All they would be able to do is give you a terrible grade on your report card, and you can just rip up that too. YOLO, am I right?
~Bella Lin, Official Admin
Thursday, May 22, 2014
Ask The War Hawks Thursday
[DISCLAIMER: Not actual good advice. Do not follow. Merely for entertainment. Also, the problems are made up.]
Anon: I really dislike the new power couple in school, but everyone else worships them. I don't want to be the odd one out. What do I do?
War Hawk Advisor: Don't be afraid to speak your mind, even if it is dislike. Chances are, the new couple won't last too long. However, if you are really concerned, you might as well drop a pie on their head every time they walk into class TOGETHER, so they realize that as long as they are alone, they'll be pie-free. Works every time.
~Bella Lin, Official Admin
Anon: I really dislike the new power couple in school, but everyone else worships them. I don't want to be the odd one out. What do I do?
War Hawk Advisor: Don't be afraid to speak your mind, even if it is dislike. Chances are, the new couple won't last too long. However, if you are really concerned, you might as well drop a pie on their head every time they walk into class TOGETHER, so they realize that as long as they are alone, they'll be pie-free. Works every time.
~Bella Lin, Official Admin
Thursday, May 15, 2014
Ask The War Hawks Thursday
[DISCLAIMER: Not actual good advice. Do not follow. Merely for entertainment. Also, the problems are made up.]
Anon: I think that someone has been cheating off my tests, and I worked really hard to get good grades. What should I do?
War Hawk Advisor: Get two scantrons and use one as a fake and the other as your own. Leave the fake within seeing distance and watch the suspected cheater. If they start copying you, yell "CHEATER" as loud as you can, and rip up their scantron. Replace it with your fake one, and say "You would've gotten a zero either way." You may then proceed to snap your fingers and walk out of the school with all the sass in the world.
Anon: I think that someone has been cheating off my tests, and I worked really hard to get good grades. What should I do?
War Hawk Advisor: Get two scantrons and use one as a fake and the other as your own. Leave the fake within seeing distance and watch the suspected cheater. If they start copying you, yell "CHEATER" as loud as you can, and rip up their scantron. Replace it with your fake one, and say "You would've gotten a zero either way." You may then proceed to snap your fingers and walk out of the school with all the sass in the world.
Thursday, April 24, 2014
Ask The War Hawks Thursday
[DISCLAIMER: Not actual good advice. Do not follow. Merely for entertainment. Also, the problems are made up.]
Anon: I forgot my best friend's birthday and now my best friend hates me. What do I do?
War Hawk Advisor: Shove cake in your best friend's face, and yell "HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY!" at their face. If they don't respond positively, casually smash another cake onto their face and walk away like a boss.
Anon: I forgot my best friend's birthday and now my best friend hates me. What do I do?
War Hawk Advisor: Shove cake in your best friend's face, and yell "HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY!" at their face. If they don't respond positively, casually smash another cake onto their face and walk away like a boss.
Thursday, April 10, 2014
Ask The War Hawks Thursday
[DISCLAIMER: Not actual good advice. Do not follow. Merely for entertainment. Also, the problems are made up.]
Anon: There are so many tests this week and I'm so stressed out! What do I do?
War Hawk Advisor: Cry about it to your parents. Eat some ice cream while watching sad movies. Do anything but study, because that would totally ruin your whole "Don't think about the tests" experiment. Now, if this doesn't work, I suggest you fly over to Hawaii and tan for a while. Bonus if you miss the tests completely due to your little "vacation". Nothing more to worry about... you know, except maybe your grades.
~Bella Lin, Official Admin
Anon: There are so many tests this week and I'm so stressed out! What do I do?
War Hawk Advisor: Cry about it to your parents. Eat some ice cream while watching sad movies. Do anything but study, because that would totally ruin your whole "Don't think about the tests" experiment. Now, if this doesn't work, I suggest you fly over to Hawaii and tan for a while. Bonus if you miss the tests completely due to your little "vacation". Nothing more to worry about... you know, except maybe your grades.
~Bella Lin, Official Admin
Thursday, March 27, 2014
Ask The War Hawks Thursday
[DISCLAIMER: Not actual good advice. Do not follow. Merely for entertainment. Also, the problems are made up.]
Anon: My dog keeps peeing on my stuff and when I scold him, he just pees more. How can I make him stop?
War Hawk Advisor: Well, judging from what you wrote, your dog is a male. The solution is actually very simple if you follow the following steps. First, get a small pillow about the size of your dog that you don't need anymore. Get duct tape and tape it under the dog. Remember to wrap the tape at least 10 times around the body! Tape up every opening so that the pee will be trapped there. Now he won't pee on your stuff anymore! (Optional: Change the pillow every so often, but remember to rip the tape off fast. Your dog needs some punishment too!)
~Bella Lin, Official Admin
Anon: My dog keeps peeing on my stuff and when I scold him, he just pees more. How can I make him stop?
War Hawk Advisor: Well, judging from what you wrote, your dog is a male. The solution is actually very simple if you follow the following steps. First, get a small pillow about the size of your dog that you don't need anymore. Get duct tape and tape it under the dog. Remember to wrap the tape at least 10 times around the body! Tape up every opening so that the pee will be trapped there. Now he won't pee on your stuff anymore! (Optional: Change the pillow every so often, but remember to rip the tape off fast. Your dog needs some punishment too!)
~Bella Lin, Official Admin
Thursday, March 20, 2014
Ask The War Hawks Thursday
[DISCLAIMER: Not actual good advice. Do not follow. Merely for entertainment. Also, the problems are made up.]
Anon: I lost all my electronics!! What do I do?
War Hawk Advisor: ...what exactly are you using to submit this problem? A POTATO?
~Bella Lin, Official Admin
Anon: I lost all my electronics!! What do I do?
War Hawk Advisor: ...what exactly are you using to submit this problem? A POTATO?
~Bella Lin, Official Admin
Thursday, March 13, 2014
Ask the War Hawks Thursday
[DISCLAIMER: Not actual good advice. Do not follow. Merely for entertainment. Also, the problems are made up.]
Anon: I'm having trouble with coping with anger. What should I do?
War Hawk Advisor: Well, you could take a deep breath. And then scream at the top of your lungs at strangers in a mall, or a very populated area. Then proceed to throw pillows in Sleepy's at the workers and jump on all the beds. Hope that helps...
~Bella Lin, Official Admin
Anon: I'm having trouble with coping with anger. What should I do?
War Hawk Advisor: Well, you could take a deep breath. And then scream at the top of your lungs at strangers in a mall, or a very populated area. Then proceed to throw pillows in Sleepy's at the workers and jump on all the beds. Hope that helps...
~Bella Lin, Official Admin
Thursday, March 6, 2014
Ask the War Hawks Thursday
[DISCLAIMER: Not actual good advice. Do not follow. Merely for entertainment. Also, the problems are made up.]
Anon: Mr. O' Flanagan wouldn't tell my class where he's from. How do I get the answer from him?
War Hawk Advisor: Well you should probably throw your homework at him and keep chanting "Tell us!" and if he still doesn't, throw your binders at him. Or maybe you could even go find his official records somewhere and find it and rip it up afterwards so NOBODY COULD EVER FIND OUT LATER ON AND ONLY YOU WOULD KNOW MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
~Bella Lin, Official Admin
Anon: Mr. O' Flanagan wouldn't tell my class where he's from. How do I get the answer from him?
War Hawk Advisor: Well you should probably throw your homework at him and keep chanting "Tell us!" and if he still doesn't, throw your binders at him. Or maybe you could even go find his official records somewhere and find it and rip it up afterwards so NOBODY COULD EVER FIND OUT LATER ON AND ONLY YOU WOULD KNOW MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
~Bella Lin, Official Admin
Thursday, February 27, 2014
Ask the War Hawks Thursday
[DISCLAIMER: Not actual good advice. Do not follow. Merely for entertainment. Also, the problems are made up.]
Anon: I hate my mom. She keeps yelling at me to do stuff while she just sits around watching TV all day.
War Hawk Advisor: Break the TV. Now she can't yell at you, because technically you just did something. Killing two birds with one stone..
~Bella Lin, Official Admin
Anon: I hate my mom. She keeps yelling at me to do stuff while she just sits around watching TV all day.
War Hawk Advisor: Break the TV. Now she can't yell at you, because technically you just did something. Killing two birds with one stone..
~Bella Lin, Official Admin
Thursday, February 20, 2014
Ask The War Hawks Thursday
[DISCLAIMER: Not actual good advice. Do not follow. Merely for entertainment. Also, the problems are made up.]
Anon: I received a secret admirer letter and I need to know who wrote it. Sadly, it's typed up and in Spanish, so I can't tell who it might be.
War Hawk Advisor: Let's see... it seems as if plenty of people have this problem. Well, the first logical step is to figure out whom all of your friends wrote to. Run them over with horses in disguise as unicorns if need be. Once you are positive it isn't one of your friends, corner anyone who gives you as much as a second look. Threaten to run them over with unicorns, even if you don't have any. Your best bet, however, is to find a suspicious looking person and pretending you know, when you don't. If they trip up, you have the person. If they don't trip up, keep on trying.
Anon: I received a secret admirer letter and I need to know who wrote it. Sadly, it's typed up and in Spanish, so I can't tell who it might be.
War Hawk Advisor: Let's see... it seems as if plenty of people have this problem. Well, the first logical step is to figure out whom all of your friends wrote to. Run them over with horses in disguise as unicorns if need be. Once you are positive it isn't one of your friends, corner anyone who gives you as much as a second look. Threaten to run them over with unicorns, even if you don't have any. Your best bet, however, is to find a suspicious looking person and pretending you know, when you don't. If they trip up, you have the person. If they don't trip up, keep on trying.
Thursday, February 13, 2014
Ask The War Hawks Thursday
[DISCLAIMER: Not actual good advice. Do not follow. Merely for entertainment. Also, the problems are made up.]
Anon: I've been having this problem with a friend of mine. We don't get along as well as we used to, and I don't know what to repair our friendship. They found new friends and I'm just stuck here alone, and at a loss for what to do.
War Hawk Advisor: Well you see, you should probably go up to one of your friend's NEW friend and tell them to back off. If they don't, well then you should probably whine for at least an hour so that they will be annoyed enough to leave. Then, get your friend over and say that his/her new friends just ditched them. Rekindle your friendship. If they don't want to, flip your hair and walk away. If they do, hug them really hard. If your friend tries to push you off, hug even harder. Release them right before they push you off really hard so that they basically fall onto the ground. Because why not? I mean, this friend is your friend, so they shouldn't get mad. And if they do get mad, run them over with a truck for being a bad friend.
~Bella Lin, Official Admin
Anon: I've been having this problem with a friend of mine. We don't get along as well as we used to, and I don't know what to repair our friendship. They found new friends and I'm just stuck here alone, and at a loss for what to do.
War Hawk Advisor: Well you see, you should probably go up to one of your friend's NEW friend and tell them to back off. If they don't, well then you should probably whine for at least an hour so that they will be annoyed enough to leave. Then, get your friend over and say that his/her new friends just ditched them. Rekindle your friendship. If they don't want to, flip your hair and walk away. If they do, hug them really hard. If your friend tries to push you off, hug even harder. Release them right before they push you off really hard so that they basically fall onto the ground. Because why not? I mean, this friend is your friend, so they shouldn't get mad. And if they do get mad, run them over with a truck for being a bad friend.
~Bella Lin, Official Admin
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