[DISCLAIMER: Not actual good advice. Do not follow. Merely for entertainment. Also, the problems are made up.]
Anon: I forgot my best friend's birthday and now my best friend hates me. What do I do?
War Hawk Advisor: Shove cake in your best friend's face, and yell "HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY!" at their face. If they don't respond positively, casually smash another cake onto their face and walk away like a boss.