Thursday, February 13, 2014

Ask The War Hawks Thursday

[DISCLAIMER: Not actual good advice. Do not follow. Merely for entertainment. Also, the problems are made up.]

Anon: I've been having this problem with a friend of mine. We don't get along as well as we used to, and I don't know what to repair our friendship. They found new friends and I'm just stuck here alone, and at a loss for what to do.

War Hawk Advisor: Well you see, you should probably go up to one of your friend's NEW friend and tell them to back off. If they don't, well then you should probably whine for at least an hour so that they will be annoyed enough to leave. Then, get your friend over and say that his/her new friends just ditched them. Rekindle your friendship. If they don't want to, flip your hair and walk away. If they do, hug them really hard. If your friend tries to push you off, hug even harder. Release them right before they push you off really hard so that they basically fall onto the ground. Because why not? I mean, this friend is your friend, so they shouldn't get mad. And if they do get mad, run them over with a truck for being a bad friend.

~Bella Lin, Official Admin

1 comment: