[DISCLAIMER: Not actual good advice. Do not follow. Merely for entertainment. Also, the problems are made up.]
Anon: My dog keeps peeing on my stuff and when I scold him, he just pees more. How can I make him stop?
War Hawk Advisor: Well, judging from what you wrote, your dog is a male. The solution is actually very simple if you follow the following steps. First, get a small pillow about the size of your dog that you don't need anymore. Get duct tape and tape it under the dog. Remember to wrap the tape at least 10 times around the body! Tape up every opening so that the pee will be trapped there. Now he won't pee on your stuff anymore! (Optional: Change the pillow every so often, but remember to rip the tape off fast. Your dog needs some punishment too!)
~Bella Lin, Official Admin